


Perfectly Numb

by a_sentimental_man



Series: Author’s Favorites [3]
Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Never Met, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, POV Outsider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:40:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21557146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_sentimental_man/pseuds/a_sentimental_man
Summary: numb;deprive of feeling or responsiveness.Ryuk had experienced countless dimensions before. This was the first time where L and Light never met.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light, Ryuk & Yagami Light
Series: Author’s Favorites [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1788709
Comments: 10
Kudos: 138





	Perfectly Numb

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [From the Same Star](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4802636) by [Nilahxapiel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nilahxapiel/pseuds/Nilahxapiel). 



Ryuk wouldn't call himself a normal Shinigami. It wasn't him being egotistical; he simply  _ wasn't.  _

Boredom, Like Light Yagami's ultimate hamartia, was his too. 

Which was why he couldn't help observing one of the only interesting people he'd seen on the earth. 

It was an accident, at first, that he gave the Death Note to someone as well suited to it as Light Yagami, and then it wasn't. 

It was the tenth time he'd given the Death Note to Light Yagami, and he couldn't help getting any means of sadistic pleasure at the way Yagami's ambitions crashed around him, almost inevitably bringing L down with him. 

Along with a twisted kind of sympathy and kinship that only a Shinigami could feel. 

One universe. Endless dimensions. 

This dimension, Ryuk didn't give Light the Death Note. 

(Sometimes, Ryuk wondered what would have happened if he gave  _ L  _ the Death Note instead. Would he fall victim to it as Light did? Would he take a cursory glance, and throw it away?) 

(But Ryuk always held himself back.  _ Maybe next time, when he was bored of this game with Light Yagami that only he was aware of.)  _

This dimension, Light grew up into a remarkable man, polite in every which way, much admired all around. 

But Ryuk could see the restlessness around his eyes, the untapped potential gleaming around his eyes as he did everything that was  _ required  _ of him without flinching. 

He could see the others noticing it, too. Soichiro - who ignored it, determined to ignore the fact that his son was more than ordinary, that he was, in fact,  _ brilliant.  _

Sayu, when she grew up - the only one who really empathized, the one who felt the stifling expectations laid upon her like a brick, too ordinary for her parent's liking. 

But even she was too late - no-one understood Light Yagami, except for L, many,  **many** dimensions ago. 

Light Yagami joined the Japanese task force at the age of 21, too smart, too charismatic for his own good. 

_ Nepotism works wonders,  _ they whispered, glancing covertly at Soichiro Yagami, who was the Chief during that time.

Nevermind the fact he would rather die than think Light was anything more than ordinary. 

Nevermind the fact that Light's passion was long gone. 

Bit by bit, with every case that turned out to be an easy solve. 

(He was still bored. Yet this was truly something humans called  _ ennui -  _ the mind-numbing,  _ listlessness  _ that only occurred when one wasn't taken seriously, wasn't simulated at all.) 

(Naomi Misora felt the same thing, when Raye Penbar, with all good intentions, urged her to retire and take care of their family.) 

(She killed herself 2 years later. With no Light urging her, this time. But that was another story, for another time.) 

Light never got to meet L, and that was somehow worse than any other eventualities in countless other dimensions. 

Light was never  _ wanted,  _ in this life. Not even as a criminal. 

  
  
  
  


(he killed himself before he turned thirty.) 

(who could expect anything more?) 

(and L. after every solve, after every stifling expectation of being the greatest detective in the world - couldn't help but wait, with bated breath, for something to take his interest, for something that was  _ much  _ more challenging than what he had now.) 

(he waited until his dying moment, somehow feeling the emptiness of his soul that he couldn't articulate to anyone else.) 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


(and somehow, to ryuk, this was much,  _ much,  _ worse than seeing them fall in love with each other - sometimes hard and fast, sometimes not even aware of it - in countless other dimensions.) 

  
  
  


_ And all men kill the thing they love, _

_ By all let this be heard, _

_ Some do it with a bitter look, _

_ Some with a flattering word, _

_ The coward does it with a kiss, _

_ The brave man with a sword! _

__

_ -Oscar Wilde  _

  


**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are great thank u  
> u can follow me on [twitter](https://www.twitter.com/ghcstofmalfoy) and [tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/a-sentimental-man)


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